Okay, this might be a little difficult to put into words. But I've been thinking about it so much lately, I have to try to communicate these ideas somehow, and words seem to be the best choice. Maybe if I was more talented, I would write a song. Or paint a picture. But I think it's probably best if I just stick to words.
I love being pregnant. For the last 6 months, I have been on a crazy emotional (and physical!!) rollercoaster. To begin with, I was excited, but terrified. Then as sickness set in, I felt like all I wanted to do was die. Depression also reared its head, and I felt absolutely and utterly unprepared for the task that lie ahead.
But then...I started to change my thinking. A lot of it had to do with a class I took called, "How to Birth Like A Rockstar," which, apart from being super helpful for birth, should in my opinion also be called, "How to Be Pregnant Like a Rockstar." I started to do a lot more research on my own about pregnancy, birth, and newborns.
Yes, pregnancy comes with a lot of inconvenient physical problems. For some women, MUCH MUCH more than for others. I think I have been pretty fortunate as far as being sick and in pain during my pregnancy. But, still. I get nose bleeds. And charley horses at 2 in the morning that keep me up the rest of the night. I have gone from having absolutely no appetite, to wanting to eat anything that I can lay my hands on! I've gained more weight than I ever have in my life, and sometimes I have to just ignore the numbers on the scale.
But I am loving every minute of it. This is why: I love my daughter. I am in complete awe every second that she is inside of me. No matter how much you love someone, you can not hug them deep enough that they are completely inside of you. Only mothers get to know what that feels like. I love feeling her little feet kicking me. I adore seeing my stomach move up and down with her sporadic movements. The human body is incredible! There is a little human being forming inside of me. She has half her traits from me, and half from Diego, and yet, she will be a completely unique individual.
I am so excited to meet her, but at the same time, I am in no rush for her to leave my belly. I feel so connected to her, not just physically, but emotionally as well. I will cherish the next three months as some of the most special in my life, because it is the very closest (physically) that I will ever get to be to my Lucia.