What I Learned from Going to Walmart at Midnight

I think we all had the same general idea. Go to the store late at night, miss the crowds. Quick in, quick out.

I don't think anyone was really anticipating the 20 minute lines and whole families with their carts overflowing. Well, at least I wasn't.

I went to grab some shirts for the Fourth of July. I wasn't really surprised that the pickings were slim, it being July 3rd. So after about a half hour of searching and finely combing through the clothes, I found what I needed and headed to check out.

I wasn't in a hurry. I had put my baby to sleep hours before and was actually kind of enjoying being able to shop without her running around tugging clothes off of their hangers and onto the floor, or crying about not being held enough or just crying for no reason in particular.

My first choice was to go to self check-out, but they were all closed. So I headed to one of the four lanes that were open. I was about fourth in line. The person who was being helped had a cart full of things and seemed to be price matching all of them.

All around me I could hear people complaining. Complaining about the lines. The wait. The incompetence of the staff. Complaining about the other shoppers. About Walmart. About their human resources policies.

The atmosphere was intense. Not at all what I had expected.

Usually when I run to the store late at night I feel like I'm invisible. Tonight that was hardly an option. The girl behind me commented on all the sketchy weirdos who come to Walmart late at night. I just nodded, hoping that I didn't look too much like a sketchy weirdo.

Finally after about 5 minutes, they opened up another lane. I moved toward it, behind three other customers. The first people in line, again, had quite a bit of groceries. The poor clerk looked completely overwhelmed. The boys in front of me, who had just a bag of candy, were clearly agitated. When the clerk couldn't figure out how to scan something, they scoffed and said loudly, "Can't you just get a manager?" They loudly tapped their feet and clicked their tongues, as if it wasn't already obvious that they were upset.

There were two girls in front of me as well. Both the girls and the boys ended up deserting the line while unabashedly exclaiming the clerk's incompetence. That left me next in line, while the clerk still struggled to finish ringing up the first customer. I saw her desperation and could feel her stress. I just wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be alright.

I could hear some people behind me shouting obscenities, because obviously waiting in a line at Walmart for 10 or 15 minutes was the worst thing that had ever happened to them.

Then I heard the girl right behind me say, "That's a cute dress."

She was talking to me. I turned around and smiled and thanked her. We then proceeded to have a nice conversation about her trip to New York tomorrow and also about my adorable one-year-old daughter. (Pictures were shown, as I didn't have any other proof to attest to the cuteness of my baby.)

Finally it was my turn to check out. I looked at that sweet woman behind the counter and said, "Hi Heidi" (name tags are the best!). She looked as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She still seemed nervous, but much more relaxed. She smiled and said she wished the customers had name tags, too.

I introduced myself and asked her how long she'd been working. She told me just since 10pm, but she'd only been a clerk for 3 weeks, and up until that night she'd always had someone shadowing her. I told her she was doing a great job, and not to worry about it. She rang my shirts up without a hitch and after wishing her a happy Fourth of July and a good night, I was out the door.

As I drove home, I mulled over in my head everything that had just happened.

I've decided that when found unanticipated potentially stressful or unpleasant situations, there are two types of people: those who make it better, and those who make it worse.

We were all at Walmart. We all had a common goal of buying something (or lots of somethings) and then leaving.

There were long lines. Well, longer than you would expect at 11:40 at night. Although, not too much longer than a normal Saturday afternoon.

They were short on staff, probably because they weren't anticipating a huge rush at midnight, even with it being the Fourth of July tomorrow.

There were those who complained. Oh my goodness. Seriously? Complaining about the people who shop at Walmart...while shopping at Walmart? That means you are complaining about yourself! I don't care if this is your very first time in a Walmart (although I'm betting it wasn't). If you don't want to shop at Walmart, then don't.

And then there were those like the cute girl behind me, who decided to make the best of the situation. I'm not even going to say "bad" situation, because the only reason it was bad was because people were making it so. If everyone had been as nice and kind as the girl behind me, and just made the most of the situation by talking to her neighbor in line, the whole atmosphere would have been different.

I also learned that you can change how other people react to situations. When the foul mouthed teenage boys behind me heard how I was speaking to the clerk, they seemed to soften a bit. Not a ton, but enough that they kindly chimed in the conversation. They still seemed upset, and I don't know how they acted when they finally were rung up, but I'm hoping they didn't yell at the clerk.

Just...make the most of every situation. It doesn't HAVE to be a bad situation. 15 minutes out of your night to wait in line is NOT going to kill you. Take a chill pill. Be nice.

And if you are going to shop at Walmart, stop complaining about those who shop at Walmart. Especially right in front of them. Come on, let's talk about tactless?

End rant.

[P.S. This is not by any means a political statement for or against Walmart, just an observation about human behavior.]

Mean

There is no word in Spanish for the adjective "mean." The translation is merely "malo," which means "bad." That will make translating this post a little bit harder, because I want to talk specifically about being mean. The dictionary definition of mean shed a bit more light on what a mean person or a mean gesture is.

• Selfish
• Offensive
• Unaccommodating
• Nasty
• Malicious

Sometimes when I would try to describe the word mean to my Spanish speaking friends I would merely say, "The opposite of kind."

I do not claim to be the kindest person in the world. There are times when I can be very mean, most especially to those closest to me. But I have noticed lately an ever increasing amount of meanness all around me, mostly on the internet.

It's like the comments that come from behind computer screens have no need for any kind of decorum. People allow their freedom of speech, ideas, and opinions to override any type of civility, decency, or kindness.

This unbridled "mean" culture we have created from behind the monitors has leaked out to other parts of our daily lives. Like many other people, my husband and I work in call centers. The phone is another great barrier that allows us to wildly unleash our frustrations on total strangers. Anyone who has worked in a call center can attest to that.

In fact, probably anyone who has ever worked in customer service can attest that some people are just downright mean. And increasingly so.

Nowadays, being mean is celebrated. It supposedly indicates strength, courage, and even intelligence. It shows up in songs, movies, and TV shows. It's funny. Though "bullying" is openly condemned by many, it is applauded and laughed at constantly.

Just because you are eloquently mean does not negate the fact that you are being mean. Don't get me wrong, speaking or writing in an educated manner is wonderful, but not when it is meant to intentionally belittle another person.

In a day when controversies and confrontations infiltrate every corner of our lives, it's easy to get caught up in the idea that if you don't speak as loud as you can you won't be heard. That leads to both sides of a debate screaming as loudly as they can at each other. I watched a news clip the other day about Obamacare and the government shutdown. I saw a news anchor and a congressman talk AT each other, rather than TO each other, as both tried to shove as many words down each other's throats as was humanly possible. I don't care what your position on Obamacare or any other issue is for that matter. It does not excuse you from common human decency.

People are so angry. There is a lot of injustice out there, and perhaps they think that if they are not angry, nothing will get done. I would like to propose that there is another way.

You can be heard without yelling. You can disagree without diminishing and depreciating. You can have conviction without constantly criticizing. You can make a difference without being mean. By all means, state your opinions. Let the world know them. But don't be surprised when not everyone agrees with you. Try to see things from another's point of view. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with them, but you should respect them enough as a fellow human being to not trample them with unkindness. And that means EVERYONE. None of this archaic--They are not like me, so they are not human--fiddle faddle. The president is a human being. Congressmen are human beings. Criminals are human beings. You and I and all those perfectly flawed people around you are human beings. And as such, they deserve a little respect and kindness, and heck, maybe even love.

Please continue to discuss and debate, comment and critique. But this time try not to be so mean.