I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me

I started writing this post a few months ago but never finished. I don't know why; I guess I felt that I couldn't adequately explain how I felt or that maybe it wouldn't come across the way I wanted it to in such a public forum. But today while I was teaching, this idea again came to mind and I shared it with the girls, so I feel like I should write it here too.

Today our lesson was, "How can I know my Heavenly Father?" Though I started reading the text of the lesson just last night, unbeknownst to me I'd been preparing for it for the last couple of weeks. I have always known that I have a Father in Heaven and that He loves me. I've felt it many times throughout my life, sometimes more strongly than others.

When I returned home from my mission I had promised myself I would always continue my personal scripture study. However, after not too long, my study habits began to relax and I found myself going sometimes weeks at a time without reading. I've made tepid attempts at getting my reading habits back to how they were when I was a missionary, but with pretty poor results.

This new year, my resolution is to read the Book of Mormon every day for 30 minutes. I've only done it once before, a whole year without missing a day. On Friday night I started to read my 30 minutes. I'm kind of a clock Nazi when it comes to my 30 minutes, so once I've started reading, I don't like anything to interrupt me. But about 5 minutes into my reading I came to a verse in 3 Nephi, chapter 27. The words that caught my attention were these,

"...therefore if ye call upon the Father...if it be in my name the Father will hear you."

It's something I've already learned, but it was like I was hearing it for the first time. When I pray, my Father really hears me. He is listening. I felt like I should write down what I had learned, or at least underline the words. But I didn't have anything to write with nearby, it was dark and Diego and Lucia were already asleep. Plus, I didn't want to get up and interrupt my 30 minutes. So I kept reading.

A few verses later came these words,

"Write the things which ye have seen and heard..."

Okay, okay. I'll look for a pencil in a second. I didn't want to interrupt my reading. Next verse,

"Write the works of this people..."

I get it. You want me to write this down. The next two verses,

"For behold, out of the books which have been written...shall this people be judged..."
"...therefore out of the books which have been written shall the world be judged."

Got it. Put down the book, go look for something to write with. I ended up spending the rest of my 30 minutes writing in my journal. I read the entire entry to my Young Women's class today.

At the end of my lesson, I started to bear my testimony to the girls about how being a mother has changed the way I understand my Heavenly Father's love. This is the blog post I started to write but never finished. But today when I explained it, it made perfect sense (at least to me).

I love my daughter more than words can express. If for some reason I were to die, or be separated from her now, she wouldn't really be able to remember me as she got older. Nevertheless, I would want so badly for her to know me. To really know me. What I look like, how I act, what I believe in. And if there were some way for her to communicate with me, I would want her to do it as often as she could. I would love more than anything to listen to her problems and her trials, and also to her joys and successes.

I know that our Heavenly Father feels exactly the same way. We are His children. He wants us to talk to Him. He wants us to remember Him, to know how He is, to know Him. He wants us to return to His presence because He loves us. I imagine that He misses us.

So here's the invitation. Hebrews 4:16

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

New Year's Announcement: We're in the Army Now

DISCLAIMER: Diego hasn't really wanted me to post anything about him joining the Army because supposedly he might be sick or something and he's worried they won't let him in (even though he's sworn in and everything). So, even though it's pretty much a done deal, just remember that there is a SLIGHT chance (like .00001%) that he would be medically discharged. But not really. But I'm throwing it out there to make him feel better.

So anyway, I guess that kind of ruined the element of surprise.

Guess what!

Diego joined the Army.


(If you don't really care about the background of the decision, go ahead and skip down to the bottom in RED to get the nitty gritty details)

I'm pretty sure if this were me reading this post just a few months ago I would have thought, "Okay, what gives? It's not April Fool's or anything." Because a few months ago I never could have imagined how dramatically our lives would change. I never would have imagined my Peruvian husband joining the United States military in any way shape or form. And definitely could never imagine me: his peace-loving, gun-fearing, war-hating wife letting him do such a thing. But here I am, a converted Army wife.

A lot of thought, prayer, and fasting have gone into our decision. You see, we have goals for our family. Diego being the main provider. Me taking care of Lucia. Diego getting the skills and education he needs to be successful here. Finding a way to get medical insurance. Having a strong family dedicated to the gospel. All these goals seem to go in opposite directions, and we couldn't find a way to complete them all.

Then Diego brought up the idea of joining the Army. My initial reaction was simply: NO. I didn't give it a second thought. It was just NO. But Diego is stubborn (sometimes its a good thing). He kept on doing research about the benefits of joining the military. He talked to friends and family who had served in the military. He met with a recruiter.

Little by little it started to make sense to me.

You see, Diego never planned to come to the United States. He was pretty successful in Peru. As a youth, he studied hard, he'd served in the Church, he was an accomplished black belt in karate. He'd been accepted into one of the best universities in Peru, studying law. He had plans to go on to be a lawyer for businesses. Then he served an honorable full time mission in Honduras. That's where he met me and all his plans changed.

That's the part of our story that never gets told. The fact that Diego had a pretty good life and a pretty set plan where he was at. And he sacrificed it all to be with me. And then he kept sacrificing.

We started our marriage with a lot more debt than normal couples. Normal couples don't have to pay thousands of dollars for plane tickets just to see each other, or a thousand more for a Visa to come to the U.S. to get married, or $1500 for residency so he could STAY in the U.S. And normal couples don't have to wait a year for the husband to start legally working.

Diego was in No Man's Land. He couldn't work. He couldn't study. He couldn't even drive. Couldn't have a bank account. He pretty much just lived here. His self-esteem took a heavy blow. The successful, driven man that I had first met and married seemed defeated to me.

That's what I love about the idea of being in the Army. It is a chance for Diego to prove to himself that he is strong. He is intelligent. And he can do hard things. This will be possibly the biggest challenge of his life. But when he accomplishes it, he will regain his sense of  self.

So here's the basic information. 
Diego will train to be a 68W, Combat Medic.
He leaves to basic training on March 17, to Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
He'll be there for 9 weeks.
He starts his AIT (job training) on June 2 at Fort Sam Houston, in San Antonio, Texas.
He'll be there for 15 weeks.

We'll then move to wherever he gets stationed. He's in Active Duty for the next 4 years.

Some great news though. By the time he's done with training, Diego will become a U.S. citizen!!

Any support at this time is greatly appreciated. Tips, information, hugs, are all welcome. We don't really want any "What the heck were you thinking??" comments, though. Too late for that. He's signed and sworn in. We're very excited to be starting this new adventure together.