Trying to Make Sense of Ordain Women: A Personal Journey

Yesterday I read about the founder of Ordain Women being called to disciplinary action within the Church.  (See article here.)

From the beginning, I have felt somewhat uncomfortable with the whole movement, and wrote various posts about it that received a lot more attention than I thought they would. Through that discourse, I was able to hear from some of these sisters and feel of their sincere interest in doing that which is correct before God.

I still never felt like the movement was a good one, though, and struggled to understand how so many other well-educated, spiritually strong, covenant-making LDS women would follow such a movement, especially after repeated response both through formal Church correspondence and through the messages of prophets and apostles  and other leaders in General Conference.

Last night, I decided to do the only thing I know how to do when I am confused or conflicted about something. I went to my Father in prayer and then went to my scriptures in search of answers.

This journey I have embarked on is primarily for my own sake. I consider myself fairly educated, especially when it comes to the Church, but I will readily admit that I am very far (and that's an understatement!) from knowing everything. So, I want to educate myself more about the priesthood.

I knew that to start with, I would have to set some ground rules--things that I know for certain.

These are things I know, and consider truth:

1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's restored church on the earth today.
2. It is led by Christ himself, through revelation to His chosen prophet. (Amos 3:7)
3. The Spirit confirms truth to each of us individually, but will never go against what the prophet has said. (Moroni 10:5)
4. The prophet will never lead us astray. God would remove him from his place if he even tried. (See Wilford Woodruff's address on Official Declaration 1)
5. Because Christ was the only perfect man to walk the earth, God uses imperfect men to help Him run things. They are human beings, and subject to possible error. (1 Nephi 19:6)

With those truths in mind, I set out to study more about the priesthood and try to come to grips with the things that are happening. Unfortunately, I could only keep myself awake until about 1:30 am, at which point I decided that if I didn't want to be a complete zombie the next day, I should go to bed. And in all that time of studying, I never actually got to the priesthood part.

My study took a different turn. I think it was definitely something I needed to learn before I start on my journey of discovery about women and the priesthood.

First I read in the Doctrine and Covenants, section 50. It is a section that I read often as a missionary, but had hardly touched on since I've been back.

In verse 2 it says, "There are many spirits which are false spirits, which have gone forth in the earth, deceiving the earth."

In verse 15, it states, "And then ye received spirits which ye could not understand..."

The phrase that really caught my eye was the part about not understanding. That is exactly how I have been feeling. As I continued to read the section, I found more instruction.

"Wherefore, it shall come to pass, that if you behold a spirit manifested that you cannot understand, and you receive not that spirit, ye shall ask of the Father in the name of Jesus; and if he give not unto you that spirit, then you may know that it is not of God.

And it shall be given unto you, power over that spirit; and you shall proclaim against that spirit with a loud voice that it is not of God--

Not with railing accusation, that ye be not overcome, neither with boasting nor rejoicing lest you be seized therewith." (vs. 31-33)

That is why I am blogging about it. Again, I am in no way any kind of expert on women and the priesthood. And I don't claim to have all the answers, or even most of them. But this is a spirit that I cannot understand, this movement, and I would like to figure out why. And despite fear of what others may say, I am trying to speak with a "loud voice."

As I continued my study, I found myself in the New Testament, in 2 Timothy chapter 2. In this chapter, Paul is writing to Timothy about some of the Saints who had gone against the doctrine of the Church and were leading others astray (2 Timothy 2:17-18)

Verse 14 says, "Of these things put them in remembrance, charging them before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, but to the subverting of the hearers."

In the manual The Life and Teachings of of Jesus and His Apostles, it further clarifies this verse,

"Contention and division are of the devil. Agreement and unity are of God. Since true religion comes by revelation, man's sole purpose in trying to understand and interpret gospel principles should be to find out what the Lord means in any given revelation. This knowledge can be gained only by the power of the Spirit. Hence, there is no occasion to debate, to argue, to contend, to champion one cause as against another."

I am just embarking on my own personal journey in learning more about the priesthood and my role with it as a woman. I have always considered myself a champion of women's equality and rights. But I also know that God is a god of order. He established His church so "that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Ephesians 4:14-15).

I seek to do what is right before Him, as I know my fellow sisters in the Church do. I hope that in some way my personal journey may help someone out there who is also seeking to learn more.

I'll keep posting as I keep learning, as always.

"Lord, show thyself unto me"

The other night I was reading my scriptures, and I had an "aha" moment. Sometimes there are verses that jump from the pages, and this was one of them.

I was reading about the Brother of Jared and a conversation he was having with the Lord. This prophet asked Christ to touch some stones that he had brought down from the mountain so that they wouldn't have to be in darkness while crossing the sea. When Christ touched the stones, the brother of Jared saw His finger.

Christ then explained to the brother of Jared that it was because of his faith that he was able to see His finger. He then asked the brother of Jared if he had seen more than His finger, to which the brother of Jared replied,

"Nay; Lord, show thyself unto me."

It was that verse that jumped from the page.

I think it is because as I read it, I could hear my own voice saying those words.

Some days are tough. Especially lately. And at the end of the day, when the baby is sleeping and I'm alone in my room, I want to say,

"Lord, show thyself unto me."

It's more of a humble plea. Show thyself unto me. Let me know that you are there.

I don't expect Him to appear in my room by any means. I just want to know He's there, that He is listening. And He is. In one way or another, He always shows himself.

It can be an unexpected message from a friend, or a sweet hug from my baby. Or like tonight, as I'm writing this post, it can be a strong burning feeling that makes me shed tears. I know that He is there, and that He loves me.

Why Social Media is Actually NOT the Devil

So, I've been seeing a lot of articles and videos and memes about how technology is overtaking our lives and making us out of touch with reality. Just for the record, I completely agree that looking down at your phone or your computer or your ipad every two seconds, rather than talking to people who are physically right next to you, is not a good thing. Facebook and Twitter and Instagram can definitely distract from meaningful human interaction.

But I would also like to point out that those very same channels of social media can also be the means of creating meaningful human interaction.

Example: When my husband left for the Army's basic training, I started following a Facebook page for his specific battery. Through that page I was able to see pictures of things that they were doing and also comments from other wives and moms of the other soldiers. I think it kept a lot of us more sane being able to feel like we weren't so alone in our own journey through basic training.

One of the other wives from the battery reached out and added me on Facebook. We chatted a bit and found that we had quite a bit in common, and that our husbands were going to the same post after basic training. This last week we both went to see our husbands graduate. We both got there a day early and were able to spend some time together before Family Day and graduation. That night that we both said goodbye to our husbands again, we really needed some company. This new found friend came over to my hotel and we talked for nearly an hour, trying to keep each other's minds off our husbands' absence.

That friendship started on Facebook, but fostered a wonderful "real" human interaction, one I was definitely in need of.

I understand that all good things need moderation. But I would like to suggest that while social media can surely distract from human interaction, it can also create it, and even greatly enhance it. It really just depends on how you use it.

Make sure that social media is a means to an end--that end being meaningful human interaction. Let it lead to get togethers and playdates with other stay-at-home moms. Or reconnecting with an old friend from elementary school and finding that you have way more in common than you might have thought. Or creating family groups where you can stay aware of things that are happening with loved ones.

Don't let social media replace human interaction; let it create and enhance it!