I want to love you every moment

This week a Facebook friend of mine lost her baby. She was born and not long after moved on from this life. It is a friend from high school that I don't really talk to much. I didn't want to seem insincere or superficial in offering my condolences, precisely because we are not very close and never really were. But her loss deeply saddened me, and that night I held my own baby girl much tighter than before.

I started thinking about loss and love. There is a phrase by President Thomas S. Monson that always comes to my mind when I think of death, especially that death that is least expected.

"How fragile life, how certain death."

It's true, and it often takes a painful reminder to help us appreciate the truthfulness of it.

From there I started to think about the people that I love most in my life. It seems that the people who are closest to me often bear the brunt of my anger or impatience. Unfortunately, the most beautiful relationships I have usually exhibit my ugliest behavior. But what if I were to lose one of those loved ones today? How many moments of anger or even of indifference would I have to regret?

Obviously, we are not perfect, and we won't be model citizens every second of the day. But how hard would it be to change little by little.

Then a new phrase entered my head.

I want to love you every moment.

My Facebook friend only got one moment to hold her child before she was gone. But I am sure that moment was a cherished one. How many moments do we let pass by without loving those closest to us? I have many moments with my daughter that I hold most dear and sacred. I can't think of a time when I've been mad at her (it's hard to get mad at a 4-month old). And yet, how often do I bark at my husband for something that in the long run is of such little consequence. And in doing so, I lose a moment that I could have spent loving him instead.

I have a quote on my wall. It was on my grandparent's wall for as long as I can remember, and I took it from them.

"Love is a daily decision."

Well, now I'm changing it. Love is a decision you make every moment. If someone close to me passes away, I don't want to feel the regret that I could have had more moments full of love. I want to say,

"I loved you every moment"

and mean it. It's tough...we get so caught up in our lives, in meaningless arguments, in minuscule details that may be annoying. But this is my new goal, and I hope to accomplish it as best I can.