Outline:
Introduction
Temple Marriage
Chastity
Dating
I started reading the lessons for this month back in July. When I saw that the theme for August was Marriage and Family, I got really excited! For me, there is no topic MORE important than this one. As I studied the lessons, I saw that was true even more. Then I remembered that the first week of the month was combined with the Young Men. Okay, that’s okay, I’ll teach next week. But then it was Sandra’s turn to teach. I continued throughout the week to read and study the material, ready for the next week. Then Claudia texted me telling me she was going to teach. So here it is, the last week of August, and my mind and heart are just OVERFLOWING with thoughts and information that I wish to convey to you young women. In fact, I’ve never felt such a serious responsibility to share with you everything that I’ve learned in the last month.
Unfortunately, in order to share EVERYTHING it would take hours upon hours, and we have less than an hour. So I want to give you the most basic, those things that I consider most important.
There is a chronological order to the topics I wish to speak about. However, we are going to discuss them backwards, starting with the end goal and ending with where you are now.
The last 3 weeks we have talked about the Eternal Family and a little about Temple Marriage. Let’s just recap Eternal Families really quick.
The Eternal Family
God is our Father. We are His posterity.
pos·ter·i·ty
[po-ster-i-tee]
noun
1. succeeding or future generations collectively.
2. all descendants of one person.
"There is nothing more important than honoring the marriage and family covenants you have made or will make in the temples of God." (President Henry B. Eyring)
"All Church activities, advancements, quorums, and classes are means to the end of an exalted family."
(Elder Russell M. Nelson)
"The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.”
“Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life.” (Julie B. Beck)
“Many of our youth are losing confidence in the institution of families.They’re placing more and more value on education and less and less importance on forming an eternal family.”
Story about meeting Elder Richard G. Scott:
In 2007 I was attending BYU-Hawaii. During that time two apostles were visiting the campus and holding an open forum. It was an open question and answer thing. I had the opportunity to ask a question. My question was this: They always talk about men going to college in order to have a career and provide for their families. But when they talk about women going to college ...well, that’s the end of it. They learn some stuff and then they become wives and moms. Well, what about if I want a career? I mean, what’s the point of me going to school? Is it really just a back up plan?
Sister Bonnie D. Parkin was the General Relief Society President at the time. She was on the panel and decided to answer my question. She starting talking about how it is important for women to get an education. I didn’t really feel like she understood or answered my question though. Elder Richard G. Scott then asked me if that had answered my question. I hesitantly said, “Umm...not really.” And then tried to explain it more clearly.
Elder Scott told me a lot of things that I don’t remember exactly. But there is something I remember very clearly. He said, “You will never regret being a mother and a wife, but you will always regret not being one.” It was the humbling experience I needed to put my independent, rights for women, stubborn heart in its place. After the forum was over Elder Scott thanked me for my question. And I hugged him. :)
“This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it.” (Julie B. Beck)
Temple Marriage
D y C 49:16-17
16 Wherefore, it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;
17 And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made.
The PURPOSE of our creation is to be eternally joined to someone else.
“Marriage is not only an exalting principle of the gospel; it is a divine commandment.” (Russell M. Nelson)
Find someone that you trust with your eternity.
Dating
Duet. 7:3-4
3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
Don’t marry someone you KNOW you would not marry. Don’t date outside of the covenant. You will never marry someone you didn’t date. Only date those with high standards. (Remember what we talked about in class! It DOES matter who you date, even at 16!)
GIRLS-- Don’t be afraid to say NO. Just because a boy asks you on a date doesn’t mean that you have to go.
“The discouragement you may feel as another empty Friday night rolls by is often a form of the insecurity we all encounter as we try to find ourselves. Without the apparent approval of your self-worth that comes through social success, you may begin to doubt whether your life is really worthwhile. Sometimes you may let someone take improper liberties with you, or you may indulge yourself in some practice that seems to bring temporary relief but only makes you feel worse in the long run. Some even make poor marriage choices, just to show the world that somebody will have them.
Ultimately, however, only the Lord’s approval of our lives really matters. If you seek to be worth knowing and seek to do his will, all the rest will take care of itself. Never forget that all things work together for good to them who love God (see Romans 8:28).”
“Don’t date someone you already know you would not ever want to marry. If you should fall in love with someone you shouldn’t marry, you can’t expect the Lord to guide you away from that person after you are already emotionally committed. It is difficult enough to tune your spiritual receiver to the whisperings of heaven without jamming up the channel with the loud thunder of romantic emotion. The key to spiritual guidance is found in one word: worthiness.”
“Everybody in the world doesn’t have to marry you—it only takes one.”
(Bruce C. Hafen)
I thought this picture was WAY funny!!
(Oh yeah, she looks like a real faithful latter day Saint in her tank top!)
This is more like it!
Chastity
Bruce C. Hafen, 1982, “The Gospel and Romantic Love”
“Our social norms apparently began to unravel during the unrest of the 1960s, among students to start with. Research shows that in the period from 1970 to 1975, the number of college students who accepted the practice of premarital sex grew from about 50 percent to nearly 90 percent.” (that was in 1982, over 30 years ago. Imagine now?)
If we don’t talk about sex in Church or in the home, you are going to learn it from completely wrong sources.
“When everything is moving at once, nothing appears to be moving, as on board ship. When everyone is moving towards depravity, no one seems to be moving, but if someone stops, he shows up the others who are rushing on, by acting as a fixed point. [Blaise Pascal, Pensées, vol. 33 (Chicago: Encyclopaedia Britannica, Great Books of the Western World, 1952)]
We—you and I—must be that fixed point.”
“These aren’t trivial things, brothers and sisters. This isn’t just a modern version of a fussy Victorian concern about bobby sox, social dancing, and driving over twenty miles an hour. This is not just Coke and makeup and nylons for twelve-year-olds. If the H-bomb symbolizes our age, we are playing now not just with fire, but with nuclear power. The prince of darkness has dragged out the heavy artillery. He is no longer limited to arrows and swords and BB guns. Now he is Darth Vader, with laser guns, light speeds, and the Death Star. We are near the end of a fight to the finish, and no holds are barred.”
“Your body is a temple. It is sacred and holy. Have the same reverence for it that you have for any temple that seeks to be the dwelling place for the Spirit of the Lord. It is also the dwelling place of the seeds of human life, the nurturing of which, with your chosen companion, within the bounds set by God himself, is lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy.”
“Please remember that nobody ever fell off a cliff who never went near one. You’ve got to be like Joseph, not like David. When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, the scripture says, Joseph “fled, and got him out” (Genesis 39:12). Joseph knew that it is wiser to avoid temptation than to resist it. King David, by contrast, somehow developed too much confidence in his own ability to handle temptation. He was tragically willing to flirt—to flirt with evil, and it ultimately destroyed him.”
From Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:
https://www.lds.org/youth/article/personal-purity?lang=eng
“We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life, “the very key” (Ensign, July 1972, 113) to life, as President Boyd K. Packer once called it. In exploiting the body of another—which means exploiting his or her soul—one desecrates the Atonement of Christ, which saved that soul and which makes possible the gift of eternal life. And when one mocks the Son of Righteousness, one steps into a realm of heat hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned.”
“Human intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God. From the Garden of Eden onward, marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything...Can you see the moral schizophrenia that comes from pretending you are one, pretending you have made solemn promises before God, sharing the physical symbols and the physical intimacy of your counterfeit union but then fleeing all other aspects of what was meant to be a total obligation?”
“On your wedding day the very best gift you can give your eternal companion is your very best self—clean and pure and worthy of such purity in return.”
“The body is something to be kept pure and holy. Do not be afraid of soiling its hands in honest labor. Do not be afraid of scars that may come in defending the truth or fighting for the right, but beware scars that spiritually disfigure, that come to you in activities you should not have undertaken, that befall you in places where you should not have gone.”
Sex within the bonds of marriages brings POSTERITY. Illicit sex brings MISERY. (Pres. Kimball) Remember, if you are not ready for marriage, you are not ready for sex :)
President Monson:
"“Every action is preceded by a thought. If we want to control our actions, we must control our thinking.” Brethren, fill your minds with good thoughts, and your actions will be proper."
Sister Dalton:
“Virtue is a prerequisite to entering the Lord’s holy temples and to receiving the Spirit’s guidance. Virtue “is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards.” It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue begins in the heart and in the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. Virtue is a word we don’t hear often in today’s society, but the Latin root word virtus means strength. Virtuous women and men possess a quiet dignity and inner strength. They are confident because they are worthy to receive and be guided by the Holy Ghost.”
“What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence? “
Elder Bednar
“The power of procreation is spiritually significant. Misuse of this power subverts the purposes of the Father’s plan and of our mortal existence.Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son are creators and have entrusted each of us with a portion of Their creative power. Specific guidelines for the proper use of the ability to create life are vital elements in the Father’s plan. How we feel about and use that supernal power will determine in large measure our happiness in mortality and our destiny in eternity.”
“Such relations are not merely a curiosity to be explored, an appetite to be satisfied, or a type of recreation or entertainment to be pursued selfishly.They are not a conquest to be achieved or simply an act to be performed.Rather, they are in mortality one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife. We are agents blessed with moral agency and are defined by our divine heritage as children of God—and not by sexual behaviors, contemporary attitudes, or secular philosophies.”
“Satan relentlessly works to distort the most important elements of the Father’s plan. He does not have a body, and his eternal progress has been halted. Just as water flowing in a riverbed is stopped by a dam, so the adversary’s eternal progress is thwarted because he does not have a physical body. Because of his rebellion, Lucifer has denied himself all of the mortal blessings and experiences made possible through a body of flesh and bones.
“I can think of no blessings to be more fervently desired than those promised to the pure and the virtuous. Jesus spoke of specific rewards for different virtues but reserved the greatest, so it seems to me, for the pure in heart, ‘for they,’ said he, ‘shall see God’ (Matt. 5:8). And not only shall they see the Lord, but they shall feel at home in his presence.” (Marion G. Romney)
Richard G. Scott
“"Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage.”
